The Three Year Rule

I’ve got a “three year rule”.  It applies to the plants in my garden.  “What is the three year rule?”  I’m glad you asked. Most perennials take at least three years to even begin to look like those wonderful plants you see in the catalogs. It’s easy to become discouraged when my well (?) thought through plans for the garden don’t match-up with the visual image I had in my mind.

Many folks may not know that plants will often perform better in some places in the yard than in others.  Not only is there a difference in the amount of sunlight, but the soil type and the amount of water that an area receives can differ, even within the same yard. Often finding this right place for each plant is as much guesswork as it is anything else.  Different plants require differing amounts of water and sunshine. Since Hostas are generally shade loving plants, it drives me nuts to see someone plant Hostas in full sunshine, in the middle of their yards.  Talk about asking for failure. The Hostas might survive, but their leaves will burn, and the plant wilts.  They never live up to their full potential. 

 

Even within the Hosta family of plants, the different members of the family like differing amounts of sunshine, water - not to mention soil type. I have at least eight types of Hosta.  One kind took me trying four different locations to find just the right place for them.  The other types of Hostas around them were doing well, but they weren’t. After years of them barely looking alive, they are now flourishing.

Besides the overall condition of the plants, I need to consider the total scheme of the garden; how does one plant look next to another and how does it contribute or detract from the appearance of the garden?

Some plants require a lot of water; others will wilt and die if they get too much water.  Years ago, I planted Hydrangeas (water loving) next to Cone flowers (not big fans of water). What a mess!  What was good for the Hydrangeas was the kiss-of-death for the Cone flowers.

Humans could sometimes use a “three year rule”.  Maybe not exactly three years, maybe 5-10 years, occasionally something far less than three years. We get comfortable in our surroundings, even though we’re not flourishing – we could even be wilting.  Life is just there, lacking passion, a sense of purpose.

It could be our job or our circle of friends, family, patterns of thought and of daily living, that are keeping us trapped.  We’ve stopped dreaming, stopped setting goals, we are no longer challenged to be more than we currently are.

None of these things, friends, jobs, the patterns of our thought-life, family, have to be inherently bad to be not doing us any good.  They just aren’t providing venues for intellectual, mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual growth. We could be just living, just getting by, just here.

As I wrote Tens Days, I had to be willing to make changes, to listen to others.  Some of my favorite parts of the book developed because someone said they didn’t understand what I was trying to say.  Still others wanted to be drawn into some scenes more, and therefore, the scenes had to be expanded.

I’m not encouraging change for the sake of change. Merely look around and evaluate. Like when a gardener decides to move a plant from one location to another; what are you trying to achieve?  What do you want the “new” you to look like, what’s it going to take to get there? Most of the time, my garden doesn’t need a complete makeover, simply some adjustments.  Things die, become overgrown, aren’t living up to their potential.  You might be in just the right place, or maybe it’s time to make changes.