Sticks and Stones

O-U-C-H, words can hurt and inflect deep wounds. The damage caused by words can cut deep into our souls, last longer, and be more destructive than physical wounds. They can impact our relationships, and alter the direction of our lives.  

My guess is that we’ve all been cut-to-the-quick by someone’s use of words against us.  As kids we use to say; “sticks and bones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.  It’s a lie; we usually knew it was a lie when we uttered the phrase. The words were already having their impact.

Since I’m now an “author” type person, you’d think I’d be the master of word-smith; crafting just the right combination of words to get myself out of every situation. You’d be wrong!

Okay, not only do I do the author thing, but I’m Irish to boot.  What a winning combination!  I can kiss-the-blarney-stone with the best of them.  My wife, Connie, is amazed at how I can pour it on. (she knows me too well)

In addition, I’ve done public speaking for more than 40 years.  Normally, I know how to prepare for a presentation, pull together the facts, and present. Still, I manage to “step in it” once-in-awhile.

Emails, especially, have gotten me into more hot water than I care to think about.  You would assume that with an Email or other form of written communication I’d be safe. After all, there’s time to think about the choice of words, delete emotion.  Yet, within the last six-to-eight months, I’ve managed to make a shipwreck of a relationship I once valued just below that of my marriage.

What went wrong?  My intentions were good. I thought about the Email a long time before I wrote, and tweaked it several times.  I knew I was asking some tough questions via the Email, but I thought those on the receiving end would understand all my good intentions. No such luck.

Writing in this forum, or in a novel can yield its own field of land mines.  Every reader brings their own personal lens with them, as do I. The lens is tinted by events which have gathered around us since birth.  Writing isn’t for cowards. It’s in black and white for the entire world to see – it’s just that others don’t see with my lens.

I don’t intend to back away from writing.  But, I also need to learn from each experience. I cannot assume that even my best friends will understand what’s behind what I’m writing in this blog or in my books.  I hold the responsibility to communicate as transparently as possible.

As you continue to invest your time to read At the End of Sheppard’s Block, feel free to ask questions, probe my thinking.  Assumptions are dangerous to both of us. As the Ghost of Christmas Present said to Scrooge;  “Come in, and get to know me better, man”.